Very few children skip into a dental surgery bursting with enthusiasm, and a little wariness is normal. For some, though, the worry runs deeper. A 2024 systematic review in the Journal of Dentistry estimated that around 30 per cent of children aged two to six experience dental fear and anxiety, which is close to one in three.
As a paediatric dentist, I have treated many nervous patients over the years. The good news is that dental anxiety responds very well to the right approach. Here are the steps I recommend.
Understand where the fear comes from
Children rarely say, “I am anxious”. They say their tummy hurts or refuse to get in the car. Common triggers include:
- Fear of pain, or a previous uncomfortable experience
- Unfamiliar sounds, smells, and bright lights
- Feeling out of control while lying back in the chair
- Picking up on a parent’s own nervousness
- Stories from siblings, friends, or the playground
Gently asking what worries them often reveals something specific and manageable, such as the noise of the suction rather than the treatment itself.
Start early and keep visits regular
The NHS advises taking your child to the dentist when their first milk teeth appear, or before their first birthday. NHS dental care is free for children, so cost is no barrier.
Early visits are not really about treatment. They are practice. Sitting in the chair, opening wide, and having a quick look is enough to make the surgery feel ordinary. Children who attend regularly when nothing is wrong are far less likely to be frightened when something does need attention later.
Choose your words carefully
Language is hugely important, and well-meaning reassurance can accidentally plant an idea that was never there.
- Avoid words such as pain, hurt, needle, injection, and drill, even in a sentence like “it will not hurt”
- Avoid saying “there is nothing to be scared of”, which suggests there might be
- Never use the dentist as a threat or a punishment for not brushing
- Do not share your own difficult dental memories in front of your child
- Try positive, neutral phrasing instead, such as “the dentist is going to count your teeth and check they are strong”
Prepare at home
A few days of quiet preparation makes a real difference:
- Read a picture book or watch a short, friendly video about visiting the dentist
- Play dentists at home, taking it in turns to count each other’s teeth
- Let your child practise lying back and opening wide
- Pack a comfort item, such as a favourite toy, headphones, or a tablet
- Book a morning appointment, when children are rested and have not spent all day worrying
Be a model of calm yourself
Children read our body language long before they understand our words. If you are anxious about dentistry too, consider booking your own check-up so your child sees you sitting in the chair quite happily. If your own fear feels difficult to hide, it is perfectly reasonable to ask another trusted adult to bring your child instead. Practising a few long, slow breaths together in the waiting room also gives your child something useful to do with their nerves.
Give your child a sense of control
Much of dental fear is really a fear of helplessness, and small amounts of control restore confidence:
- Agree a stop signal, such as raising a hand, and make sure we honour it
- Let your child choose the flavour of the polish or the colour of the toothbrush
- Ask us to explain and demonstrate each step before we do it, an approach known as tell, show, and do
Praise effort rather than bravery
Specific praise works far better than general praise, because “you opened your mouth so wide when the dentist counted your teeth” tells a child exactly what went well. I would avoid promising a big reward in advance, because it signals that something unpleasant is coming. A sticker, or simply telling a grandparent how well it went, is plenty.
Tell us before the appointment
Please let us know in advance that your child is nervous, because it changes how we plan the visit. Depending on what your child needs, we might:
- Book a longer appointment with no treatment, purely to build familiarity
- Introduce equipment gradually over several short visits, an approach called acclimatisation
- Use distraction, counting, and music during procedures
- Apply preventive treatments such as fluoride varnish while confidence grows
- Discuss dental sedation where anxiety is severe, or treatment is urgent
Regarding sedation, I would always emphasise that it is one option among several rather than a first resort. Most children never need it. For those who do, it can break a cycle of avoidance and allow a positive experience to take its place.
Take the next step
Dental anxiety in childhood has a habit of following people into adulthood, so it is well worth addressing now. With patience, preparation, and a gentle dental team, almost every anxious child can learn to feel comfortable in the chair.
If your child is worried about the dentist, I would be very happy to meet them. Please arrange a consultation with our team, and we will take things entirely at your child’s pace.
